How are you doing? I guess the reality of all of this has hit… It is strange writing as I know that this thing affects us all in many different ways… but ultimately we are all wrestling with how it is impacting each one of our lives, families and work…
For now I am hoping that you and your family are staying well. And if not, know that I am thinking of you and hoping things will turn out for the best. I don’t think it is easy for any of us.
In this blog I wanted to explore a bit more the emotional side of this change. Because that is what I have been wrestling with personally this last week.
And if, like I sometimes feel at the moment, you just don't want to hear anything more about the virus. And just want to focus on having an online dinner with friends where we laugh at the crazyness of it all - feel free to stop reading now (!)
Anyway... I know the theory. An unwelcome change that is imposed on you, brings up a whole host of emotions. It is normal. It is what it takes for you to reorient yourself in the new reality. But it is always hard when it is actually happening to you.
The first stage is denial. When we know something is coming, but are trying to pretend it is not such a big deal for us. Desperately wanting to hold on to our life as it has been. Since the lockdowns I think most of us have had to come out of denial... whole countries aren’t just shut down for the flu... And once we have managed to organise the basic logistics of our new life… that is when the different stages of emotions kick in. When we start to ask ourselves - what does this actually mean for me?
Often we have been taught that success comes from being invulnerable. Not really feeling and keeping going. Who wants to feel the uncomfortable stuff anyway?! But this is not a time for just being tough… we need to give ourselves permission to feel.
A change of this magnitude is a lot to hold. It asks that we navigate these emotions - consciously and with care. Otherwise undigested emotions can leak out. It Is like our nervous system gets overloaded. Unprocessed feelings start to act up in unhealthy ways.
I was on the receiving of that this week. Maybe you were too. They can manifest as feeling tired, overwhelmed, a lack of motivation, being easily triggered, high anxiety, comfort eating or sudden blasts of anger and starting fights with others.
So this is a time to be emotionally kind to yourself - for your own sanity. And so that you have a fighting chance of being kind to others. As I do believe that kindness is what will get us all through.
That means understanding where you are really at.
This week I lead group calls for my clients on becoming aware of where they were at in terms of the change curve and how to consciously navigate that emotional side.
Some were still in denial or not really allowing themselves to go there - as the emotions felt too big. Or they hadn’t had a minute to check in with themselves - desperately juggling working from home, schooling and preparing three meals a day. Others were feeling angry at what was happening - and projecting that onto others around them. Some were feeling a lot of anxiety - not sure how to find safety when faced with so much uncertainty. Or they were just feeling plain exhausted and unmotivated - experiencing a lot of sadness.
Here is a checklist around these emotions of change, for you to orient yourself...
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Anger: Are you angry that the life you had has been disrupted? Maybe irretrivably? Are you angry that this is disrupting your plan for the year, jeopardising your business or your work? That as a result you have to carry more on your own? Or make decisions that seem impossible...
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Fear: Are you afraid as to what will happen? Are you scared for your loved ones?
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Sadness: Are you wanting to cry and are not sure why? Are you being called to grieve your losses?
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Hopeless: Are you looking at the future and getting into a negative spiral? Are you expecting that life will never be the same...not in a good way...that all of our lives will be irrevocably changed for the worst as a result? Or are you stuck on what to do with it all?
Wherever you are at, remember it is ok, it is part of the process. If you can try and take the time to stop and catch up with yourself that helps. Our systems need time to integrate what is happening. Give yourself permission to be with all of this and let it take the time it needs.
Practically that means slowing down, accepting that you are human and that what you are feeling is ok, taking the time to process by talking about it or journalling. Being ok with not having all - or any - answers for now and being gentle with your heart. Whilst consciously building your inner centering and integrating positive habits to stay grounded and keep your energy up. Really taking care of yourself emotionally.
And if you need it… I have put together a pack to help people with the emotional side of these changes… it’s all free and open access... originally it was for my private clients, but then I decided to share the love… I hope it helps you if you need a bit of extra support…
It includes a video mini-course, a compilation of blogs and relaxation practices. So that you can find and keep your center in the midst of this storm. And if you know people who would benefit, feel free to share. Here is the link
https://www.louiselegat.com/covid-19-support-kit
Until next time,
Louise
Louise Le Gat is a Next Generation Leadership Catalyst and Advocate. She supports Leaders to become the Visionaries, Disruptors and Change Makers who are building the sustainable world of tomorrow.
She is the Founder and CEO of Positive Energy Leaders and the Creator of The Positive Energy Academy - An online transformational community for leaders to create, sustain and succeed at fulfilling, meaningful work that has a positive impact.
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